Here are the best racing jokes! If you were searching for jokes about races, we have the best memes ever!
My familiarity with automobiles and racing is comparable to what I studied about theoretical physics in college. I earned a degree in theatre. The fact that many of these jokes aren’t even about vehicles certainly explains this.
I believe that adding a stripe makes something go faster. Does that apply to equines? I’m not sure. I suppose you’d need to paint one on the magnificent animal before asking it to hoof it. In any case, tell one of these jokes the next time you’re around those pals (you know, the cars and horses men), and if you’re lucky, they might never again ask you to a gathering.
Related Post: Best Knock Knock Jokes.
Jokes have a way of reducing tension and allowing your mind to be open to more pleasant energies.
Even among athletes, jokes help to promote togetherness, corporation, and a fun environment.
As a result, we’ve compiled 100 truly “rib-cracking” jokes about racing.
- Why do F1 drivers always have bad relationships?
They always try to finish first.
2. Why can’t Michael Jackson ever win in a race?
Because he always comes in a little behind.
3. What is the longest-running race?
The human race!
4. What do sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing, they fast!
5. What trophy do octopuses win as the grand prize in the cephalopod racing tournament?
The Suction Cup
6. What did the tomato tell the other tomato during a race?
7. What do you think you would get if you crossed a race car with a stud?
The answer is crashed potatoes.
8. Why did the zombie come last in the NASCAR race?
He left his foot on the brakes.
9. Why should you never race a Muslim during Ramadan?
They fast during Ramadan!
10. Peter is a master of sports in cross-country skiing. John is a hired killer.
On average, both are involved in biathlon.
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11. My favorite gambling event is horse racing, but I’m bad at it.
No matter how hard I try, the horses are just way faster.
12. Ferrari’s legacy in Italy has led to them taking F1 more seriously than anywhere else in the world. At just three years old potential racers are identified and must compete in a race for the coveted Sippy Cup.
13. I’ve been breeding racing deer
Just trying to make a quick buck
14. I tried horse racing once, but I fell at the first fence.
I might have done better if I had a horse
15. I took the shell off my racing snail to see if it would make it go any faster
It just made it more sluggish.
16. What do we want? racing car noises when do we want them
17. What is a cat’s favorite racing game?
18. What do Michigan autoworkers do on Cinco de Mayo?
They have a Fort Fiesta.
19. What do you need to be able to drive in the outback?
You need to show koala-fications.
20. What would you call Yoda’s business if he had one?
A Toyoda dealership
21. Why are pigs such bad drivers?
Answer: Because they hog the road!
22. What do you call it when two photographic journalists from Helsinki are racing to get a picture of the next top news story?
A photo Finnish.
23. What’s a race car’s favorite thing to eat for lunch?
24. What do you call a horse that’s a world traveler?
25. What do you get when you run in front of a car?
26. Why did the lactose-intolerant runner keep drinking milk?
He loved having the runs.
27. What is a vampire’s favorite racing game?
Need for Bleed.
28. Why was the runner in the marathon stopped and taken to jail?
He was resisting a rest.
29. What is it called when a knife joins a track team?
30. What do you call a cat race?
31. Why did the console peasant cross the road?
To render the building on the other side.
32. Why are road racing bikes so expensive?
If they were cheap, cyclists wouldn’t have something to hold over pedestrians.
33. Which side of a horse has more hair?
34. My horse came in so late the jockey was wearing pajamas.
35. what’s the difference between Usain Bolt and Adolf Hitler?
One got to finish a race.
36. Hear about the Racer who broke both legs ironing the curtains?
She fell out the window.
37. How did a barber win the race?
It was quite simple, though; he knew a short cut through your hair.
38. What did the tornado say to the car? Want to go for a spin?
39. What did Jack say to the car? Can I give you a lift?
40. I couldn’t work out how to fasten my seat belt.
But then it clicked.
41. What do you call 16 Racers standing in a room around a beer keg?
A dope ring.
42. Why did the legless dude think he won a race?
Because everybody already left.
43. My dad seen rupaul drag race?
Asked when will they do up the cars!
44. PETER: Which punctuation mark would win a race?
ROBERT: I don’t know.
PETER: The dash.
45. I am your friend. The jokes aren’t meant to hurt.
46. Today we watched as children of 6 years olds played bicycle races.
They even had their leader, who announced the team’s names participating in the next races.
47. Chuck Norris and Time raced twenty years ago.
The result is inconclusive because Time is still running till today.
48. My friend invited me to go drag racing with him and I thought yeah that sounds fun
Turns out it is really freaking hard to run in the heels
49. What do sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing, they fast!
50. My annoying little cousin is bragging about how he sleeps in a race car bed. Whatever, you little idiot.. I sleep in a real car.
51. What’s the hardest thing about learning to ride a horse?
52. Swim Race
A local pool was holding a swim meet for the disabled. There were three contestants, one man had no arms, one man had no legs, and one man was just a disembodied head.
53. That Moment you get to the track and the stress of the world goes away!!
54. What happens to a person if they run behind a car? They get exhaust-ed.
55. I bought a really old race horse today.
I called him My Face.
56. How did the barber come first in the race?
He took a shortcut.
57. “Long distance running is 90 percent mental and the other half is physical.”
58. If you could get rid of any race, which would you choose?
I’d pick the 400 meters, it’s too long for a sprint and it’s too short to be a true endurance race.
59. I run slower than a heard of turtles stampeding through peanut butter, but I run.
60. Road race with a dog? Run like a rabbit.
Concluding words: Best Ever Racing Jokes and Memes
On certain days when things aren’t going according to plan, a good joke could be all you need to set you up for better things.
If you’re “Mr. Boring” or “Miss Too Serious,” we’re confident that this collection will help you improve your social interactions and discussion.
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